Tuesday, September 15, 2009

My wife just left for rehab.

That's pretty hard to write, not the least because I'm still sobbing. Evelyn is too.

Crystal has been addicted to Vicodin for about a year, now. She got on them when she had extreme back pain while she was pregnant, and it just kind of went from there. She took them all the way through the pregnancy, since every doctor we talked to assured us that Vicodin would not harm the baby.

After Oliver was born, the addiction kept growing. I have to admit that I've been an enabler, going to the ER, urgent care, and regular doctors, faking back pain and headaches in order to get her more pills. Even when I had a legitimate problem I gave most of them to her, and kept asking for refills.

A few weeks ago I told her I wasn't going to help her get any more pills. She is perfectly fine while on them, but when she's off them and needs to find more, she turns into a horrible person. I guess it's not much of a surprise, considering she's the same as any other addict. I just couldn't take the down times anymore, the constant stress and anger coming from her.

This is her second full day off of the pills, and the withdrawal, combined with her still-ongoing and horrible PPD and regular depression, finally made her decide to seek treatment. She said she wants to be a better mother to our kids, and I think this is the best way to do it. She's "tried" to get off of the pills by herself before, but it never works. Does it ever work if an addict goes cold turkey on their own? I'm sure it has to sometime, just not in this instance.

I think she'll be gone for a few days. She's packed a couple bags, and her mom is driving her up there. She has to get checked out in the ER first and be medically cleared, then she's off to the rehab clinic where they're holding a bed for her. She's not going to get to see the kids for the entire time she's there, which is killing her. I think I can go and visit her, but the kids have to stay.

It's going to be extremely hard, but I think in the end this is the best thing that could have happened.


  1. It's going to sound trite, but your wife has already been through the hardest part; admitting it (I have a wee bit of experiencing dealing with an addict). She's going to need a ton of support, but it sounds like she's got it. I wish you both the best of luck.

  2. Jesus Christ that was hard to read. I can kind of share your pain. I had a girlfriend who was Bi-Polar, she tried to kill herself twice while we were dating and ended up in a "hospital" both times. I've had friends who have been addicts, and yes, addiction is addiction it doesn't matter what you're addicted to. While the girlfriend or friends were not my wife or the mother of my children. It is for the best, and I wish both of you the best of luck.

  3. i second what eyvi had to say, true (true!) just to admit it and go into rehab is HUGE, once she's there, they will take good care of her.
    and i third, all my best wishes.

  4. Oh, Snath, I'm so sorry you guys are going through this. I can't imagine how hard it must be. It's great that she's seeking help; they're pros who know how to deal with this kind of thing. You're right, it is for the best.

    I'm sending good thoughts your way. Hugs to you guys, and to your kiddies.

  5. Oh, honey, I'm sorry. That is so hard, for all of you. I am sending you all mind hugs with my telekinetic powers.

    You WILL get through this, and be stronger for it. I know you will.

  6. Oh buddy, I wish we lived closer, I'd offer up some baby sitting services for ya. Best wishes, good thoughts, all that stuff. Hang in there man.